Being Pursued

August 26, 2008 at 12:16 am Leave a comment

A senior in college only ten more month before I walk across the stage and out of the lives of so many people I call friends. I have a problem. A problem with making decisions about my personal life.

C, my ex and best friend, appears to be pursuing me again. My most recent crush has taken me on my first double date in over a year, on here I call him D. I think I know what will make me happiest but I have a horrible tendency of changing my mind.

I really have no one to talk over the situation with. No one will ever see the world through your eyes. I have a room-mate but she doesn’t understand my situation. You can never tell if someone has felt as you have once felt, but the laws of nature train you to believe that no one is like you that you are a snowflake. I don’t believe we are all completely different, and unique.

Should I follow my heart even though it may lead me back down a path I have already travel, or should I encourage my heart to look else where? You may not be able to choose who you love but maybe I could aim my affections to either say inside to go else where.

I think D is different because I feel like there is something on the line to gain or to loose.

During the day C gets upset so easily but he has a way of seducing me when the sun goes down. I want just to lye with him. I miss cuddling; I have never thought myself much for cuddling but I still want to.

I have such horrible nightmares that visit me regularly. I now don’t dread the nightmare, I expect them. They have almost become a measure of how deeply I slept. Company I know I should not depend on but slowly realizing how comforting another can be if you let them.

I love my independent personality. I don’t want to lose it. I’m happy, but lonely.

Why so young am I tired of getting hurt by the way others drop me?

Advertisements

Entry filed under: College 1101 (year 4), Nightly Check-in. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

In the Business of Confusion Confidence is a fair weather Friend

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


August 2008
M T W T F S S
    Sep »
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

%d bloggers like this: