Posts tagged ‘question’
Here recently I have been trying to figure out what it is that I deem to be important traits in my friends…
Almost a sort of priority…what is more important loyalty or honestly above all else? What things do I value most? I don’t know yet but I am working on it.
Trust – I think this is still the first one on the list, which I find particularly difficult because I can’t be trusted. I’m just, well their is no excuse, I just like to have too much fun sometimes at the expense of others feelings. I think of it as “putting myself first” or “looking out for me.” Mean things always seem not so bad in the moment. I know that I have been an unfaithful person, yet trust is still a big thing for me. I hate double standards and here I am creating a huge one. I suppose it is all in the hope that I find someone that can “keep me faithful”…that phrase sounds horrible but if you have ever been unfaithful, it makes a lot of sense.
Loyalty- Really goes along with that being faithful business, which I’m not an expert on, but still I find it attractive.
Comfort-Everyone says that they can be themselves with certain people…or rather that you should always be yourself but I am looking more the pick your nose, scratch your butt, burp, sing, dance, cry to, and do whatever in front of kind that isn’t even phased.
Is it weird that I find the qualities that I lack to be sooo attractive? Hmm, I’m sure someone is thinking opposites attract, but I don’t believe that. I don’t want opposite. I want the same but better.
I was laying in bed unable to close my eyelids. I was thinking about my week and mostly the people in my life. I paused a gave some people more though than others, when it hit me…what if they are thinking about me?
Have I made such an impact on anyone to keep them awake?
I’m I in someone’s thoughts right off their sleep tooth and nail with what they want me to be or with what I am?
Why is “everyday” one word and “every year” two words?
In so many books and movies there is the common theme of living without government rule. Whether the characters are dropped on an abandoned island or government is over thrown for whatever reason the people/citizens are left to their own rule. In all these story cases the people revert to their primal “instincts” so to speak and go to fighting each other.
Why are we supposed to be lead to believe that without government we would go all willy nilly. Hmm maybe we would, but government but be formed it doesn’t just happen so what about the stories of development?
With the stories about how we would hold ourselves as people seems to hold a good amount of truth to them, which is depressing that we need a chain of command to behave civilized.
It is thoughts of love that turn my eyelids into rebells tonight. There are so may types or love and then there are so many ways to express love.
I worry about which type of love I’m going to get because I want the team spirit type. That unites us in all our goals and endeavors and is “pure” without nasty secretive motives but what will I get? Will I even be able to keep any?
A close friend told me once that I was particularly good at pretending to be happy even when I wasn’t. Once it hits you that sometimes not even most of the time, just from time to time, you put up a mask it is odd to register. I feel like I do it because it is part of who I am being strong with emotional build up. Recognizing it as someone else sees it as a falsehood or something to be “worked” through is in so many ways upsetting.
To say I have a hard time with particular emotions is foolish and young to me because I know so many have the same problem and to me it is as if I expect it to be a problem like a battle that if won makes you stronger. The battles are tiresome.
I wish so badly to be a mind reader. I think that would make things easier.
I’ve always heard that relationships are work but are they really? When do they stop being fun and start requiring work?
Maybe I should not say “stop being fun,” but when do you have to start making a serious enough effort to start calling it work?