typing l o v e

December 17, 2008 at 8:25 pm Leave a comment

It is thoughts of love that turn my eyelids into rebells tonight. There are so may types or love and then there are so many ways to express love.

I worry about which type of love I’m going to get because I want the team spirit type. That unites us in all our goals and endeavors and is “pure” without nasty secretive motives but what will I get? Will I even be able to keep any?

A close friend told me once that I was particularly good at pretending to be happy even when I wasn’t. Once it hits you that sometimes not even most of the time, just from time to time, you put up a mask it is odd to register. I feel like I do it because it is part of who I am being strong with emotional build up. Recognizing it as someone else sees it as a falsehood or something to be “worked” through is in so many ways upsetting.

To say I have a hard time with particular emotions is foolish and young to me because I know so many have the same problem and to me it is as if I expect it to be a problem like a battle that if won makes you stronger. The battles are tiresome.

I wish so badly to be a mind reader. I think that would make things easier.

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Entry filed under: Nightly Check-in. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

College Apartment Living Government more or less?

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