Doing Right By Me

September 12, 2008 at 12:28 am Leave a comment

I’m dating this guy D, who I met when I first started college. I really like him and we are taking things “slow.” I don’t want to go “fast” but I am kind of axious. I want to do good. I really like him but it feels odd.

It feels odd because I don’t really feel like I know him. I feel like I have an idea about his personality, but I want to know him. I’m ready to invest myself again.

Everyone has a first love. I was stuck on mine, but this summer allowed me to see how one can cloud their own mind. You see only want you want to see because you don’t want to be wrong. I didn’t want to see wrong; I was more open to me being wrong than to seeing wrong in his eyes.

I feel like D, is different. There were mistakes made on both ends with my first real relationship with C now I get to learn and try agian. C wasn’t able to tell me what I meant to him. He wasn’t able to let go and invest in me. You have to let go and give you trust. Sometimes the trust is handed back, but I have faith that someone will hold it tight. Someone will see the importance of my trust.

I think I just  need to chill. This slow thing is best for me. There are just so many things to think about.


Entry filed under: College 1101 (year 4), Nightly Check-in. Tags: , , , , .

Confidence is a fair weather Friend Fear in Clear Dreams

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September 2008
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