Eyes vs. Ears

My eyes verses my ears…I pick eyes, but when it comes to love my ears rule..

my life

too cute

work in progress

Here recently I have been trying to figure out what it is that I deem to be important traits in my friends…

Almost a sort of priority…what is more important loyalty or honestly above all else? What things do I value most? I don’t know yet but I am working on it.

Trust – I think this is still the first one on the list, which I find particularly difficult because I can’t be trusted. I’m just, well their is no excuse, I just like to have too much fun sometimes at the expense of others feelings. I think of it as “putting myself first” or “looking out for me.” Mean things always seem not so bad in the moment. I know that I have been an unfaithful person, yet trust is still a big thing for me. I hate double standards and here I am creating a huge one. I suppose it is all in the hope that I find someone that can “keep me faithful”…that phrase sounds horrible but if you have ever been unfaithful, it makes a lot of sense.

Loyalty- Really goes along with that being faithful business, which I’m not an expert on, but still I find it attractive.

Comfort-Everyone says that they can be themselves with certain people…or rather that you should always be yourself but I am looking more the pick your nose, scratch your butt, burp, sing, dance, cry to, and do whatever in front of kind that isn’t even phased.

Is it weird that I find the qualities that I lack to be sooo attractive? Hmm, I’m sure someone is thinking opposites attract, but I don’t believe that. I don’t want opposite. I want the same but better.

Better….

I Wish…

I wish I…

1. could read minds
2. predict with weather accurately
3. would not freak out at the sight of blood
4. was more honest
5. was less messy
6. had more time to read
7. could trust in another
8. could let go
9. didn’t over think everything
10. was a slower driver
11. had a healthier stomach
12. didn’t have bills
13. had more hours in the day
14. only had good dreams
15. was a human lie detector
16. could live with less sleep
17. could better express myself
18. was a professional photographer
19. was a professional dancer
20. was done with my homework

shouting

Robert Benchley – “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”

acting my age

1. I’m single.
2. I’m okay.
3. I’m proud.
4. I’m not an open book.
5. I’m loud.
6. I’m a liar.
7. I’m honest.
8. I’m not trusting.
9. I’m skeptical of most things.
10. I’m not a morning person.
11. I’m a dancer though and though.
12. I’m dependable.
13. I’m fair.
14. I’m better at acting that you would expect.
15. I’m a traveler by nature.
16. I’m a college senior.
17. I’m a good student.
18. I’m an outside person.
19. I’m not a singer.
20. I’m observant.
21. I’m not one to talk about how I feel.
22. I’m always making an effort to appear happy.
23. I’m horrible with technology.
24. I’m a photographer in my own mind.
25. I’m waiting for something to happen.
26. I’m not a t.v. watcher.
27. I’m a movie addict.
28. I’m a milk drinker.
29. I’m a horseback rider.
30. I’m in love with my blackberry.
31. I’m on flickr.
32. I’m still a roller skater.
33. I’m not easily embarrassed.
34. I’m a blogger.
35. I’m twenty-one.
36. I’m fascinated with textures.
37. I’m taking yoga classes.
38. I’m bad at accounting.
39. I’m attracted to plaid underwear.
40. I’m messy.
41. I’m stuck on biscuits.
42. I’m reading a horrible novel.
43. I’m incapable of stopping in the middle of a movie or book.
44. I’m a cat person.
45. I’m enthusiastic by nature.
46. I’m grossed out by feet.
47. I’m not very good at the whole make-up concept.
48. I’m barefoot whenever possible.
49. I’m always thirsty.
50. I’m constantly looking for something I lost.

Government more or less?

In so many books and movies there is the common theme of living without government rule. Whether the characters are dropped on an abandoned island or government is over thrown for whatever reason the people/citizens are left to their own rule. In all these story cases the people revert to their primal “instincts” so to speak and go to fighting each other.

Why are we supposed to be lead to believe that without government we would go all willy nilly. Hmm maybe we would, but government but be formed it doesn’t just happen so what about the stories of development?

With the stories about how we would hold ourselves as people seems to hold a good amount of truth to them, which is depressing that we need a chain of command to behave civilized.

typing l o v e

It is thoughts of love that turn my eyelids into rebells tonight. There are so may types or love and then there are so many ways to express love.

I worry about which type of love I’m going to get because I want the team spirit type. That unites us in all our goals and endeavors and is “pure” without nasty secretive motives but what will I get? Will I even be able to keep any?

A close friend told me once that I was particularly good at pretending to be happy even when I wasn’t. Once it hits you that sometimes not even most of the time, just from time to time, you put up a mask it is odd to register. I feel like I do it because it is part of who I am being strong with emotional build up. Recognizing it as someone else sees it as a falsehood or something to be “worked” through is in so many ways upsetting.

To say I have a hard time with particular emotions is foolish and young to me because I know so many have the same problem and to me it is as if I expect it to be a problem like a battle that if won makes you stronger. The battles are tiresome.

I wish so badly to be a mind reader. I think that would make things easier.

College Classroom Guidelines

1. Vague indirect questions from professors seen to plague this program.
2. You can participate too much in class. (freshmen)
3. Never be the first to answer a question because even when your answer is right it will be called incorrect as by the default programming in the brains of the professors. To answer first means there will be minimal discussion in their minds, thus removing the need for a two hour classroom slot.
4. Yes, in college there is still assigned seating.
5. First row seating is a no, no foot rests, and no coloring.
6. Edge/wall seating makes sleeping too easy.
7. Back wall seating is bad in old professors classes becaus they tend to whisper inportant points like they are special secrets.
8. If you are not an auditory learner you are going to be hurting in business classes.
9. Once in class never look at the clock, it some how magically makes time slow down every time you look into the face of the clock.
10. Religion will be brought up in 70% of the classes; welcome to the south.
11. There really is no such thing as honest discussion in class: discussion = opportunity for professors to argue their opinion with themselves
12. Twenty years from now scientists will discover that overhead classroom projectors are harmful to the eyes.
13. The whole, “if your professor is ten minutes late you can just left” never applies. It is a myth, completely and totally. Written nowhere and spoken everywhere. Just sit down and wait you have nothing else to do because you were already planning to go to class.